Sunday, June 04, 2006 @ 11:19 PM
I found myself getting more and more mel each day. Oh no. I don't want this to happen. I've been thinking too much, way too much. I need to occupy myself to keep myself from thinking.
But there's nothing for me to occupy myself with.
Oh God. What is happening? Didn't You just touched me yesterday? Oh Gosh. Am I just being emotional? I pray that it is so, because this sudden rush of emotions will fade away, and soon I'd be occupied and there'd be less space for me to worry about.
Right now, I'm thinking about too many things.
Gosh. What is happening?
I'm thinking too much. Thinking about nothing.
Am I being emotional?
I think I am. I hope I am.
God. Take away these emotions and thoughts, that are not pleasing in Your eyes. Please. I don't want to be dirtied.
I don't know why. It seemed like the more I grow, the lonier I get. In the end, the only company I really have is God.
God, why am I growing to find myself more and more sinful? Or is it just that I'm more aware of my sins? In any case, I found myself unclean. I found myself not as childlike, as innocent, as before.
Oh gosh. I just want to be that child who only wants to please You!
No matter what, I'll just believe in You.
Help. Someone. Help. God.